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Meet the real Bad Guys

They're bad, they're bad... really, really bad. And funny. Don't forget funny. Often a bit creepy. Sometimes aloof. Yes, it's that old standby that fills many a-magazine, the list of the worst type of character a certain type of film genre has to offer.

Yup, that old chestnut.

Doctor Anton Phibes (The Abominable Doctor Phibes, Doctor Phibes Rises Again)

Whatever you do, don't cross this man. He's not one to let you off with a few stern words - you're more likely to find yourself coated in liquified brussels sprouts and fed to locusts. And don't just get in the way, either - innocence is no excuse, in his eyes. You'll probably find yourself sandblasted to death in your own car. You have been warned, as they say...

Row, row, row your boat...
 

Edward Lionheart (Theatre Of Blood)

Another madman who gets off on protracted revenge scenarios - although where Dr Phibes has an "excuse" (the death of his wife), in Lionheart's case it's vanity that causes his bloody reign of terror. And bloody it is, too - whether his victims are being stabbed to death, having their hearts cut out, or quite literally losing their heads...

Belasco (The Legend Of Hell House)

Belasco, despite his camp appearance and even camper voice, was known as "the roaring giant" while he was alive. Then he died. But his spirit lived on in his old house, raping young mediums and beating people up with household objects. And all because he was a short-arse. Good job he didn't have ginger hair as well... then he would have really had a complex.

Smarm
Phwooaarrr

Queen Tera (Blood From The Mummy's Tomb)

She may not move around much, but this busty madam doesn't take any shit, no sir. She's been stuck in a tomb for 2,000 years, and boy, is she annoyed. It didn't help that her jailers lopped her hand off before they started, too. It's never actually explained how she does it, but if you do manage to get on the wrong side of her, it's a safe bet that you're either going to get your throat ripped out, or have a house fall on you. Your choice.

Doctor Storm (Horror Hospital)

The victim of a horrible accident, Doctor Storm now resembles an enormous lump of Silly Putty. Because of this, he just can't get "the birds" like he used to. Undeterred, he opens a "health farm", entices hip young things along, and then lops their heads open, messes with their brains, and turns them into subservient zombies. Bingo- instant nookie. And if they run off, he can always decapitate them with his state of the art Rolls Royce...

is this a piece of your brain?
Please try and stay awake, love...

Mrs Wakefield (House Of Whipcord)

Whaddya do when you reckon society's gone tits-up? Why, open your own prison and execute anyone who doesn't live up to your stringent expectations, of course...

The nastiest baddie of them all has to be this one, because al through the film you've got a sneaking suspicion this just might be going on somewhere nearby. In her prison you've got three chances, and then you're dead. That's it. No remission, no remorse. Let's hope Jack Straw's never seen this one.

 

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