Meet the real Bad Guys
They're bad, they're bad... really, really bad. And funny. Don't forget
funny. Often a bit creepy. Sometimes aloof. Yes, it's that old standby
that fills many a-magazine, the list of the worst type of character a
certain type of film genre has to offer.
Yup, that old chestnut.
Doctor Anton Phibes (The Abominable
Doctor Phibes, Doctor Phibes
Whatever you do, don't cross this man. He's not one to let you off
with a few stern words - you're more likely to find yourself coated
in liquified brussels sprouts and fed to locusts. And don't just
get in the way, either - innocence is no excuse, in his eyes. You'll
probably find yourself sandblasted to death in your own car. You
have been warned, as they say...
Edward Lionheart (Theatre Of
Another madman who gets off on protracted revenge scenarios - although
where Dr Phibes has an "excuse" (the death of his wife),
in Lionheart's case it's vanity that causes his bloody reign of
terror. And bloody it is, too - whether his victims are being stabbed
to death, having their hearts cut out, or quite literally losing
Belasco (The Legend Of Hell House)
Belasco, despite his camp appearance and even camper voice, was
known as "the roaring giant" while he was alive. Then
he died. But his spirit lived on in his old house, raping young
mediums and beating people up with household objects. And all because
he was a short-arse. Good job he didn't have ginger hair as well...
then he would have really had a complex.
Queen Tera (Blood From The Mummy's
She may not move around much, but this busty madam doesn't take
any shit, no sir. She's been stuck in a tomb for 2,000 years, and
boy, is she annoyed. It didn't help that her jailers lopped her
hand off before they started, too. It's never actually explained
how she does it, but if you do manage to get on the wrong
side of her, it's a safe bet that you're either going to get your
throat ripped out, or have a house fall on you. Your choice.
Doctor Storm (Horror Hospital)
The victim of a horrible accident, Doctor Storm now resembles an
enormous lump of Silly Putty. Because of this, he just can't get
"the birds" like he used to. Undeterred, he opens a "health
farm", entices hip young things along, and then lops their
heads open, messes with their brains, and turns them into subservient
zombies. Bingo- instant nookie. And if they run off, he can always
decapitate them with his state of the art Rolls Royce...
Mrs Wakefield (House Of Whipcord)
Whaddya do when you reckon society's gone tits-up? Why, open your
own prison and execute anyone who doesn't live up to your stringent
expectations, of course...
The nastiest baddie of them all has to be this one, because al through
the film you've got a sneaking suspicion this just might be going
on somewhere nearby. In her prison you've got three chances, and
then you're dead. That's it. No remission, no remorse. Let's hope
Jack Straw's never seen this one.