Fed up with that boring old grey desktop? Why not slap one of these works of art on it instead? Lovingly created by my own fair hand and featuring some of the best films on the site, plus a handy reminder of where you got 'em from.
Just click on the screen size of your choice, wait for the big picture to appear, and right-click on that one. Hey-presto, fancy pants computer screen bollocks that in no way will get you beaten up by less understanding people at work.
By popular demand, it's that fat bird from Taste The Blood Of Dracula - but luckily slimmed down, busting out of her dress and toting an enormous shooter. Yes, Linda Hayden in all her nutty glory during the final scenes of Expose.
For my money (and this is purely a matter of taste, you understand) Vanessa Howard in Mumsy, Nanny Sonny and Girly is a far more appealing prospect. She may be equally psychotic, but she's wearing a school uniform. And if fancying grown women dressed as schoolgirls makes me a pervert... oh.
He speaks through a hole in his neck! He has no face to speak of! He's a complete nutcase! Relive the days when baddies wore big white frocks and death came via the most stupid route possible, with this picture of Mr Price and his enormous horn.
A nice tasteful study of the Alien in repose. Never mind what they called it in the later films, or how they "improved" on it with fancy-pants CGI, we like the man in the wetsuit with the pointy prong things, that was only ever known as "The Alien".
Here's a picture of the greatest actor ever to grace The Creeping Flesh. He only gave one bad performance, and that was in those bloody awful Dalek films. And that's just me being prejudiced. Peter Cushing in Curse Of Frankenstein. What a film, what a bloke, what a wallpaper.
It's that bloke again, this time as the devil himself... Paul Daniels. I mean Doctor Terror (a film criminally neglected by this site at the time of writing - can I get hold of a copy? Can I bloody hell). If you want this as your wallpaper, say "Yes, Paul!" and click on the links below. I can't actually take credit for the idea of doing this one, some bloke e-mailed me and asked if I'd do it. But don't start thinking you can all do that, or there'll be trouble.
I'm indulging in my passion for a certain busty beauty here, but you have to admit, it's a cracking picture. Why not brighten up your day by having Valerie Leon spread all over your desktop? I'm off for a cold shower to try and remove such thoughts from my fevered brain, but you can click on one of these two links to download the picture size of your choice:
All words, logos and drawings are © Chris Wood 2000 to now.
All photos, posters, sounds and videos are reproduced in good faith with the sole intention of promoting these films. Why should I be the only one to suffer watching them? If any film makers feel particularly strongly about abuse of copyright on the site, they obviously haven't got anything better to do. You could try Watchdog, but frankly, I think they've got bigger fish to fry...