Blu-ray review - Horror Hospital

Back in 2015 I dipped my toe into the shiny world of Blu-Ray reviews, and I’ve just found a couple, of which this is one. Think of it as a little “Easter egg”…

Blu-ray review – Horror Hospital (1973)

I don’t think it’s any secret that Horror Hospital is amongst this reviewer’s favourite British horror films, if not THE favourite. It also holds a place in the grand pantheon of the British horror film as being, pretty much, the sole reason for the britishhorrorfilms.co.uk site existing in the first place.

Back in the late 90s I was shown Horror Hospital, on an ancient Vipco VHS tape that had surfaced during the clearout of someone’s under stairs cupboard. How it had ended up in any normal person’s video collection is still beyond me – a micro-budgeted shocker made a quarter of a century before, starring a collection of actors who were (and continue to be) little-known outside of the world of the “bad film” obsessive. It was never the kind of film that you’d find in the bargain bin at Woolworth’s. But there it was, picked out of the teetering pile of watched-once book-sized plastic objects that most people had in their homes before the advent of streaming video.

And I was instantly sold – the peculiar acting, the daft plot, the (seemingly) inadvertently hilarious dialogue, the ridiculous violence, the 70s fashions, Robin Askwith. I told everyone I knew about my “find”. I’d always enjoyed watching old horror films on TV whenever I could, but you wouldn’t call me a fan. And I had no idea that alongside the more TV friendly stuff starring Peter Cushing, Christopher Lee and Vincent Price, back in the 1960s and 70s people were making astonishing stuff like THIS.

I’ll admit that as a bit of a pop culture snob, part of the film’s appeal was that no-one else had heard of it. But even so, I needed to find out more. Someone had recently invented something called “the internet” (or at least, it had finally reached Cheshire), so I looked it up. Nothing. And lo, the British horror films website was born. I wrote my own critique of Horror Hospital and a few other old British films I’d seen recently, and published them on my own web space, and the rest is history.

There’s a bit more to it than that, but I’m aware that this is supposed to be a review of the new Blu-ray release of Horror Hospital, not a potted history of me, me, me. Suffice to say that I treasure Horror Hospital. I’ve owned it on a variety of formats (all, admittedly, the cheapest I could get) and watched it many times – the question is, is the transition to high definition worth it? Should a fan consider an upgrade? Will a shinier version of a grotty old binbag of a film bring in a new audience?

Well…

I’ve got to say yes. I know it’s a cliché (and I can hardly believe I’m actually writing this), but seeing Horror Hospital on Blu-ray is like watching a new film. I spotted new things, I marvelled at the paucity of the sets, I enjoyed it so much I’m convinced there were scenes in it I’d never seen before. Giving Horror Hospital a glossy makeover has not made it any more glossy – it’s still a grotty old binbag of a film, but now you can see the grot writ large. It makes it even more charming, even more of a period piece. It’s amazing.

I interviewed Mr Askwith once, and explained why Horror Hospital is so special to me. He said that he’d been told it was one of Quentin Tarantino’s favourite films, and it’s not hard to see why that might be the case. For the uninitiated, the story runs thus – young Jason (Askwith) gets chucked out of his band after having a fight with the lead singer. He decides to get away for a bit to cool down, is offered a flyer for a company called Hairy Holidays, and travels up to Dr Storm’s Health Farm for a weekend away. On the way he meets Judy (Vanessa Shaw) and charms her with the greatest chat-up line in film history: “There’s no need to get so uptight about things, I’m not going to rape you!”

Judy is also on her way to the clinic, to stay with her estranged Aunt Harris. The problem is that Dr Storm (Michael Gough) is a grade A nutcase, who’s busy operating on his young customers in order to create a new super-race / make them sleep with him / give him something to do of an evening (take your pick). Aunt Harris is in on it, as is a “freaky little dwarf” (Skip Martin) who acts as Storm’s servant. It’s shabby, cheap, nonsensical and bizarre. There’s plenty of blood (Storm decapitates runaways using blades which shoot out of the side of his car), quite a lot of nudity, and some truly astonishing performances to be enjoyed, Skip Martin’s being the stand-out highlight.

If you’ve seen it, you know exactly what I’m talking about. If you haven’t, you’re in for a treat. Just when you think it can’t get any better, a failed escape attempt by Jason sees him on the receiving end of a ridiculously protracted beating which really shouldn’t be as funny as it is.

But what of the Blu-ray? Well, this is the first Blu-ray review I’ve ever done, and cursory glance at the internet finds much talk of audio bit rates, codecs and aspect ratios. I haven’t a clue what they are, but what I will say is that it looks great, sounds great and filled the screen on my telly. Someone’s definitely spent a bit of time cleaning it up, the first thing I noticed was that the red lines which pour down the screen during the credits are actually moving liquid. The squalid sets (Dennis Price’s office in particular) are brought to live in vivid detail. And the extras… well, it’s the first time I’ve seen anyone else talk about Horror Hospital on screen, so it’s a pleasure to see Mr Askwith remember filming in such raucous detail, discussing drugs, gangsters and Michael Gough with his usual candour. And they’ve also managed to pull together the team who actually made the film (minus director Anthony Balch, RIP) to give their take on it – I’m betting that out of all the work they ever did, that grotty little arthouse comedy they made back in ’73 was the last thing they thought they’d be discussing in 2015!

So, should you buy it? Well, if you love beautifully crafted, thoughtful drama, probably not. But if you have a secret fetish for “guilty pleasures”, they don’t get guiltier than this little gem. And if you’ve seen it before (and therefore are already wooed by its many charms) I’d suggest you buy it again, to see it in its true glory – and for the Askwith interview.

Horror Hospital is now available as on Blu-ray, DVD and digital download from Odeon Entertainment http://www.odeonent.co.uk/.../british.../genre-horror,1970s