The Abominable Doctor Phibes
This Saturday night takeaway’s so full of strife. Anton decks anyone he thinks killed his wife.

Absolution
One boy’s a chump, the other’s a champ, and their teacher has made clear his fave. But one’s making up stories about a local tramp, and what’s this? A freshly dug grave?

Alien
It’s a haunted house in space! Don’t let the thingy hug your face…

The Amazing Mr Blunden
It’s a tale where the hosts turn out to be ghosts. Climb up that wall Jamie, lest they be toast (again).

An American Werewolf In London
His name is John Landis, a scary-funny-sexy romp planned-is.

And Now The Screaming Starts!
Eye eye, that's handy, thinks luckless young bride. Turns out top of the stairs is no place to hide.

The Asphyx
Bucks Fizz once told us their camera never lied. They neglected to mention the ghosts stuck inside.

Asylum
When you arrive for a job at this house full of nuts, you’re expected to find the old doc. After tales of madness, murder, and more, you’ll end up with your neck on the block.

The Asylum
The Fun Boy Three got it just about right… the loonies are in charge of this non-NHS site.

Baffled!
This Star Trek legend is on the case - you’re meant to be Baffled, Len, tell your face!

The Ballad Of Tam Lin (The Devil’s Widow)
Whether Tam, Tom or Tim, he’s out on a limb. This cougar’s got claws and his outlook is grim.

Barry Mackenzie Holds His Own
In a booze-soaked tale of Aussie ratbags, you might think a “horror” tag awry… but in between the Poms, Fosters and dags, we get vampires and carnivorous octopi.

The Beast Must Die

For this weekend away the invite you must take - as your name’s up for grabs during the werewolf break.

The Beast In The Cellar
Dad was mean to his son, the poor little fella… now his sisters keep him locked in the room under the house.

Behemoth The Sea Monster
A gigantic lizard has vessels for brunch… but he’s got his big eyes on London for lunch.

Beyond Bedlam
Keith Allen likes to shout. Craig Fairbrass works out. Liz Hurley gets 'em out. The end result? Absolutely nowt (worth watching).

Bizarre (Secrets Of Sex)
If you want to know about the birds and the bees, your parents are the ones to explain. All THIS mummy wants to pass on, are sexy tales that involve extreme pain.

The Black Panther
He’s the black, the black panther, the rank-and-dank panther, and it’s as plain as your nose… that as his evil plans all fail to work, the body count just grows and grows.

The Black Torment
Is our angry hero a killer, or simply annoyed? Could be a big plot - with his mind they have toyed.

Bloodbath At The House Of Death
Bad jokes abound in Vincent’s last hurrah. Sadly the jokes don’t stretch very far.

The Blood Beast Terror
What’s the doc’s game? Bring a moth to a flame? Being the worst is this film’s claim to fame.

Blood From The Mummy's Tomb
If you’re keen on Val Leon, here’s two for the price of one.

Blood Of The Vampire
This doctor is a shady fella. Keeps chained-up women in his cellar. His prisoners he’s not keeping well-a. He needs their blood to keep him swell-a.

Blood On Satan's Claw
He’s outstanding in his field but there’s something ‘neath the soil. Lairy hairy games afoot (or not) will the young ones’ innocence spoil.

Bloody New Year
Norm’s got the keys to the SFX chest, but it’s clear that “a lot” doesn’t always mean “best”.

Blue Blood
Guess what? The butler did it! (Had to happen sooner or later...)

The Body Beneath
The Rev’s after your baby - Susan look out, you’re descended from vampires - of that there’s no doubt.

The Bride
This retelling of Frankenstein has a Sting - and it’s not very good, that’s the thing.

Brides Of Dracula
Dracula's out for the Count (geddit?) - but others live on in his place.

The Brute
She’s a feisty survivor of violent abuse, he’s beaten her and destroyed all her clothes (and her shoes). Now she’s out and about with nothing to lose. But will she go back? Well, it’s not what I’d choose.

Captain Kronos - Vampire Hunter
You may think all late Hammers good for a chuckle - change your mind seeing K swash his buckle.

The Cassandra Crossing
Richard Harris is on a train. Many people are in pain. Some careers are on the wain. Let's kill 'em off! What's not to gain?

The Cat And The Canary
There's a fortune to be had if brave blonde can survive the attentions of her family, an escaped nutter and assorted peril.

Cat Girl
She’s the purr-fect woman but to her don’t take a shine. This feisty young lady’s really not feline fine!

Children Of The Damned
You’re damned if you don’t if you do you’re a fool. That spanner looks important, why aren’t these kids in school?

Circus Of Horrors
If you’re spinning around like Kylie at speed, a bloke chucking knives is what you don’t need.

City Of The Dead
Welcome to the (horror) hotel Whitewood... you can check out, but you'll never leave

A Clockwork Orange
He’s not a nice chap, his decisions aren’t wise. A long stint in prison will keep open his eyes.

Colin
Zombie chap is on the street. Still-living chaps feel the heat. Does he want to meet and greet? Nah, he just wants their guts to eat.

The Comeback
Crooner's comeback special ruined by brutal dismembering of annoying wife and cross-dressing psycho shenanigans.

The Company Of Wolves
If your lover’s quite hairy, take note - there may be a wolf ‘neath his boat (race).

The Corpse
Daddy returns from the dead. Something’s not right in girl’s head.

Corridors Of Blood
Not-so brilliant surgeon tests dodgy home made anaesthetic on himself. At home. Alone.

Corruption
Be warned if a fan of botox and its ilk, doing stuff to your face might end in erosion. Decapitised heads in the fridge by the milk, and hot painful death by laser explosion.

Countess Dracula
Pensioner countess tries to keep young. Into bathtub blood of young ladies does bung.

Cover Girl Killer
Steptoe stalks the streets in his macintosh and specs, determined to get some non-consensual sex.

Craze
Camp antiques dealer strangles, stabs, burns and jumps-out-of-cupboards-at women of all varieties.

The Creeping Flesh
The way this fiend is created we just mustn’t linger. Yes we know what it looks like, but it’s actually a finger.

Crescendo
Stef Powers has lost her composure. What luck! Here comes a composer!

Crimes At The Dark House
There’s a woman in white at the window again! The solution? Point Percy at the (lady of) porcelain!

The Crimes Of Stephen Hawke
Before this starts there’s a musical interlude up with which you have to take-a, before a jolly tale of murder and revenge as we meet the Spine Breaker.

Crucible Of Terror
Bonkers artist runs amok. He’s what you might call the very first ‘shock jock’.

Cry Of The Banshee
With all that witch ignition, someone forgot to keep an eye out for werewolves

Curse Of Frankenstein
Hammer arrives with film beautifully made. Lee deserves a toast, Cushing marmalade.

The Curse Of The Crimson Altar
She’s as green as they come but she’s no Greta, she’s all about evil, not making the planet better.

Curse Of The Mummy's Tomb
This Egyptian dude’s out on the street. It’s worth listening out for his cloth-shod feet.

Curse Of The Werewolf
The unluckiest woman alive gets a Christmas present - a homicidal wolf-boy son.

Darklands
Time’s short for this cockney muscle-bound dude. He’s top of the hit-list for any welsh druid.

Dark Places
He’s annoyed all the locals, just look at their faces! Turn those bloody lights on, I don’t like Dark Places!

Day Of The Triffids
Howard Kiel find out that the corn being "as high as an elephant's eye" could be a problem if it chooses to take a nibble on your niblets.

Dead Man's Shoes
Angry bloke returns home and he just wants to know – who was it who bullied his defenceless bro?

Dead Of Night
When you’re trying to convince the great ghost denier, after all of your proof he’ll still call you a liar.

The Deadly Bees
Death, where is thy sting? All over the place, that’s the thing.

Deadly Strangers
A nutter’s escaped, the surrounding area’s in a flap. Is it the obvious one, or her from the Parent Trap?

Death Is A Number
Nine is the number you don’t want around, unless dead in your racing car you want to be found.

Death Line
Mind the doors! Shouts the man, as he plants spade in you. Where are the police? Why, they’re having a brew.

Demons Of The Mind
The family Zorn - a happy tale of suicide, child abuse, mental instability, cannibalism, incest, ritual killing, dodgy psychiatric techniques, village idiocy, and that bloke from Manfred Mann.

Deviation
Sex and drugs and rock n’ roll, on this lot’s sanity takes its toll.

Devil Doll
This guy’s after her fortune, he’ll give her a fright. But how? Is the question. Rip off Dead Of Night!

The Devil Rides Out
Calling the devil is Mocata’s crime, but the Duc’s here with chalk to fix it, by messing with time.

The Devils
The nuns are all frothing, for Ol’s bod they’re on fire, but they won’t be so keen once he’s chucked on that pyre.

The Devil's Men
Saucy sacrificial shenanigans with Father Ted lookalike and a depressed-looking Peter Cushing

Devils Of Darkness
Don’t Count on this guy to be much of a lark. He’s on the lookout for girls and he does like it dark.

Die Monster Die!
Strange goings-on the cause a meteor is, Lovecraftian high jinks abound with elderly Beoris.

Die Screaming, Marianne
Marianne’s hips don’t lie, it’s seeming. But her family still want her to die (screaming).

Digby The Biggest Dog In The World
This pup is so huge for the UK it’s a scoop, but imagine the job to clear up its poop.

Disciple Of Death
That DJ is back for things vaguely satanic – those lasses from Sorry and Who better panic.

Doctor Blood’s Coffin
This doc’s wrong ideas are proving quite scary… instead of a cure he’s prescribing curare.

Doctor Jekyll And Sister Hyde
As a joke it’s quite lame and may convince not to try it, but if you give it a chance it’s a sexy sex swap riot.

Dr Phibes Rises Again
He’s back once again, eternal life is his ruse, so he embarks on a trip that starts with a cruise. As this is a sequel I’ll stick out my neck, and repeat the same rhyme/joke – it’s Anton (on) deck!

Don't Look Now
If tragedy has struck and drowned has your daughter, why go to a place with an excess of water?

Don't Open Till Christmas
Twas the night before Christmas and all through the ‘hood, Santas were being despatched with much blood.

Doomwatch
They’re angry, deformed and the opposite of quiet, could be the result of a polluted fish diet?

Dracula
Van Helsing is out to stop Dracula’s fun, with a literal rendition of “here comes the sun”.

Dracula AD1972
Teen wants Dracula's undead power, bad choice then to take a shower

Dracula Has Risen From The Grave
His number was up and he letters think he could drown, but the conundrum is there’s no keeping this Count down.

Dracula - Prince Of Darkness
It’s been a few years since the count picked on the purest, what he needs is the blood of an unwitting tourist.

Dream Demon
She’s scared of her wedding, someone should tell her – there’s worse things than that lurking down in the cellar.

Dust Devil
If you’re out in the desert, don’t pick up this dude. He won’t respect clocks OR fingers, and that is just rude.

The Earth Dies Screaming
There’s no-one around, robots kill without thinking. Let’s retire to the pub and commence heavy drinking.

Endless Night
I need a house, all I’ve got is some land. Ah, here’s Hayley Mills, perhaps she’ll give me a hand.

Evil Aliens
If you want bloodthirsty aliens Jake West’s got some. Just don’t let that drill anywhere near your bum.

Expose
I’m writing a serious book full of sex (there’s no jokes), but I keep getting put off by that bloke from Brushstrokes.

Eye Of The Devil
David Niven grapples with grape nuts

The Face Of Darkness
His plan to crack down on crime isn’t quite on the level – he’ll blow up some kids, with the help of the devil.

Fanatic: Die! Die! My Darling!
Her name is Tallulah and she’s playing it mean, hoping her son went to his grave squeaky clean.

Fear In The Night
Already nervous young bride fit for nothing after a few hours in haunted prep school

The Fiend
Strange young man tries to show wanton women the path to righteousness by moving them closer to God.

Fiend Without A Face
Brains on the loose and they kill people dead. Why are they so angry? Cos they’re out of their head!

Flesh And Blood Show
They’re staging a play on a deserted pier, as actors they’re simply just jobbing. But instead of learning their lines as they should, they just spend all their time nobbing.

The Flesh And The Fiends
Burke the berk and Hare.. the hairy one decide that already-dead isn't paying the rent, snatch-wise

Fragment Of Fear
Junkie treads on a few toes as he attempts to unravel the mystery of Aunt Lucy's death

Frankenstein And The Monster From Hell
Our Baron Frankenstein proves himself a great goodbye-bader, stitching together his very own Vader.

Frankenstein Created Woman
In a rare moment of caring the Baron fixes a lady. Well, that didn’t work – next time, back to being shady.

Frankenstein Must Be Destroyed
Nobody wins and everyone dies when Baron Victor carries on his head-swapping activities

Fright
Sitter with a murderous loon must deal – all parents wanted was a child-free meal.

Frightmare
His family like rare meat to chew, man – not the way it’s cooked – it’s rare cos it’s human.

From Beyond The Grave
This shop has some fatal flaws - lethal if your name is Dors, nasty if you fake your wars, scary if your shoulder sore's, painful if you chop up whores, not so bad if you buy their doors

The Frozen Dead
Nazis on ice! And not the latest comeback from Torvill and Dean, either.

Funny Man
This jester's a hoot with myriad suits on, but be warned, he's got his arse kicking boots on.

The Ghosts Of Berkeley Square
Buffoons consigned to purgatory for dodgy attitude to foreign people

The Ghost Train
When the train stops at this place it signals your doom – there’s Nazis out there in the blithering gloom. There’s some who might think with our sanity they’re toying. They don’t know the half – here comes Askey (so annoying).

The Ghoul
Karloff rises from the dead through the power of bushy eyebrows

The Ghoul
Tango man despatches annoying hooray Henrys

The Godsend
Toddler in fright wig lays waste to mainly ginger family

Goodbye Gemini
Nutty twins take apart swinging London

Gorgo
Rubbery monster with bad case of post natal depression lays waste to Tower Bridge, Big Ben and a bunch of teddy boys. Luckily, the River Patrol are on hand.

The Gorgon
She’s a stone killer, and that’s no mistake. Instead of a barnet, she’s many-a-snake.

Gothic
There’s some writers who sit with pen, paper and tea, working out in peace what their tale’s going to be. But there’s others for whom that life’s just not to be. Perhaps booze and drugs are the answer? It worked for Shelley…

Grip Of The Strangler
Isn't it always the way? You spend your entire life investigating a serial killer, only to find out that you're him! Typical...

Hands Of The Ripper
Isn't it always the way? You spend your entire life trying to psychoanalyse nutters, only to find out you've accidentally invited Jack The Ripper to stay in your home! Typical...

Hardware
Potential ashtray flips and goes on the rampage. Don’t mess with broke robots, that’s my new adage.

Haunted
Confused-looking American gets more puzzled as all is not as it seems at local nuthouse.

Haunted House Of Horror
Groovy kids (who frankly deserve it) get messily murdered in humdrum whodunnit

The Haunting
Home to the scariest door in film history

Holocaust 2000
Kirk Douglas shows his arse when told that his son might be responsible for the end of the world (kids, eh?)

Horror Express
Cushing and Lee go head to head with brain-sucking alien fiend and assorted dubbed Spaniards.

Horror Hospital
Doctor's radical health programme will leave you feeling... nothing at all

Horror Of Frankenstein
Baron and pals start off as kids, at early point film hits the skids, dismembered arm seen flicking v's, the end result - stinking cheese

Horrors Of Burke And Hare
Drunken pair grave-robbing scum, selling corpse earns tidy sum. What goes on behind those doors? Shagging mostly - and whacking whores.

Horrors Of The Black Museum
Psycho sends out silver-faced servant to slice and dice. Gift of binoculars not so nice.

Hound Of The Baskervilles
Pete n' Dud go Jewish and Welsh (respectively) in hilarious Holmes send-up.

The House In Nightmare Park
Oo, no stoppit. Oaf find out he's heir to a fortune... please yerselves

House Of Mortal Sin
This killer has some Catholic taste. They’re on the lookout for sinners to waste.

House Of The Long Shadows
Horror luminaries Cushing, Lee, Carradine, Price and Peasgood come together in haunted house shocker.

House Of Whipcord
Couple take Neighbourhood Watch one stage too far.

The House That Dripped Blood
Charming proposition, beautiful outlook, many previous owners, all met grisly deaths at the hands of assorted psychos...

How To Get Ahead In Advertising
Ad man an annoying twat, Soon will require a second hat

Hysteria
I've forgotten my name! Who am I? Where am I? What's happened to the plot?

I Bought A Vampire Motorcycle
Offsetting carbon is usually good, but not if you swap your petrol for blood.

I Don't Want To Be Born
Coy stripper refuses access to short man - ends up giving birth to Satan

I, Monster
Doctor turns tables on Oil of Olay and produces uglifying potion

Incense For The Damned
Short break in Greece ruined by vampires.

Inseminoid
Pregnant woman on cannibalistic rampage.

Invasion
Dastardly orientals come down from space and muck about with the temperature. Again.

Island Of Terror
Bone eating carpets on the attack

It!
Enormous statue lumbers about a bit. Artillery as effective as "pea-shooter".

Killer's Moon
It's Carry On Clockwork Orange! No, really - it is. If you leave this website only wanting to watch one film, make it this one...

Kiss Of The Vampire
More vampire nonsense from Hammer - but classy stuff, none the less

Konga
Overgrown ape still refuses to stay. No, not that one, this one’s name ends in an A.

Lair Of The White Worm
There’s a big old worm up in the hills. Director Ken Russell clearly on pills.

The Last Horror Movie
A killer wants to explain, but it’s all bluster. Just don’t take this film from your local Blockbuster.

The Legacy
Where there’s a will there’s a way. To be brutally murdered with much iron-ay.

The Legend Of Hell House
Group spend night in the "Mount Everest of Haunted Houses". Hope someone remembered the crampons.

The Legend Of The Seven Golden Vampires
Chop socky action ensues when Dracula departs for Eastern climes

Legend Of The Werewolf
Werewolf? There, wolf. Well, a bloke with a white wig on and some Dracula fangs, anyway

Legend Of The Witches
There’s leg ends on show yes and everything else too… these witches aren’t shy and have plenty to show you.

Lifeforce
Naked vampires and energy zombies stalk streets of London town. Even the SAS can’t bring them down.

 The Lifetaker
Lisa’s alone in her pad and wants someone to meet her. Young Dick fits the bill but near danger they teeter. Her husband’s a nutter who’ll shoot through a sheet-a. If you want to avoid trouble - don’t be blue, Peter.

Link
It’s a killer dessert, lemon fill, crispy topping, hangs from trees as a rule. Hold on, that’s a meringue-utan, wrong monster you fool.

The Living Dead At The Manchester Morgue
Manchester’s mental - we’re off to the Lakes! Where gut-munching zombies will give you the shakes.

London Voodoo
A spot of cellar renovation leads to mum going a bit voodoo-lally

The Lost Continent
Insanely over-ambitious soap opera cum dinosaur flick cum sci fi epic cum boob olympics cum kitchen sink farrago from Hammer

Lust For A Vampire
Things lurch into exactly what you’d expect when vampire ends up at girls' finishing school.

Macbeth
Brush up on your GCSE English and watch some extreme violence at the same time.

Madhouse
Old horror star finds out television comeback won't be as easy as thought.

The Man Who Haunted Himself
Roger, that. And Roger that, too. He now has a double, and this double means trouble.

The Man Without A Body
“If you want to get ahead, get a hat” is what they said. What he heard is “get a head, and make it long-dead”.

Maniac
Dad's revenge on pervert using blowtorch leads to prison break shenanigans

Masque Of The Red Death
Vincent wants Jane to keep warm his bed. He’ll be alright as long as no-one sees red.

The Medusa Touch
Snakes alive! Here comes Dick and disaster he wants. Perhaps we can stop him by bashing his bonce.

The Mind Of Mr Soames
Soames is a chap whose mind has never grown old. Turns out this is a tale that has been often told.

The Monster Club
To get into this club you must go through great pains. Unless your name happens to be R Chetwynd-Haynes.

Mother Riley Meets The Vampire
This nutty scientist has a familiar name. His downfall will be a pantomime dame. A lesson in the fleeting nature of fame? Whatever it is the premise is lame.

The Mummy
Strong, silent type in patio door-shattering revenge trip

The Mummy's Shroud
These Egyptologists do tend to bring it on themselves

Mumsy, Nanny, Sonny And Girly
Psychotic young lady in too-small school uniform brings home the wrong type of "friend". 

The Mutations
Doctor kidnaps female students for horticultural hi-jinks

Neither The Sea Nor The Sand
There's romance on the cards til bloke drops dead quite quickly, but his zombie return leaves his girl a tad sickly.

Night, After Night, After Night
Mentalist goes on the rampage in Soho.

The Night Caller
Randy alien has designs on our women, the swine

The Nightcomers
As a prequel to a classic it’s a real dog’s dinner - we could blame Marlon Brando, but my money’s on Winner.

The Night Digger
Young nut makes himself at home and starts bumping off the local girls. 

Nightmare
She’s having more than a ‘mare and so school’s out, but back at home she’s aware someone’s getting the ghouls out.

Night Must Fall
Watch your head cos this young lad’s an absolute loon. I’m talking to you, Miss Olivia, and you, Mrs Jam-Spoon.

Night Of The Big Heat
Glowing alien jellies bring freak weather conditions

Night Of The Demon
Cynical prof gets more than his house redecorated when he takes part in Changing Runes.

Night Of The Eagle
He’s accused of a crime, doesn’t know who’s the snitch. His wife’s been on a course and has trained as a witch. His fancy sports car ends up crashed in a ditch. It’s all the fault of a jealous colleague (the bitch).

Night Train To Murder
Morecambe & Wise play all the right horror notes - but not necessarily in the right order. I'll give you that, sunshine…

Nothing But The Night
Remember, remember, the trustees dismembered. Just don’t try to suss out the plot. This girl is in danger, her stalker’s no stranger, but all as it seems this is not.

The Offence
I know you’re guilty, you nonce – so save your breath. Cos to get a confession I’ll beat you to death.

O Lucky Man!
Mad scientist scene gets overlong modern fable a place on the site.

The Omen
Why Mister Ambassador, by bringing on the end of the world you're really spoiling us...

Paperhouse
Scary moments afoot when young girl's drawings start coming to life.

Paranoiac
There's a fortune to be had by the one sane member of the family, but which one is it?

Peeping Tom
This guy likes to give his films a pinch of snuff. Dad not around to tell him “that’s enough”.

Phantom Of The Opera
Old story livened up by sparkling bit part performances and a bit of Hammer sparkle.

A Place Of One's Own
Young lady plagued by ghost of her predecessor and appalling Northern accent from usually talented thesp.

Prey
Dog-faced alien doesn’t paws, then takes lead on fetching new menu.

Psychomania
Hell's angels come back from the dead to continue their two wheeled terror timetable.

The Psychopath
When it comes to inventive killings he gives it the beans, by each mangled corpse leaving small figurines.

Quatermass And The Pit
Long -dead prehistoric aliens still causing trouble in 60s London.

Quatermass 2
Angry American investigates dodgy goings-on up at t'old synthetic foodstuffs factory

Quatermass X-periment
Vegetable on the loose - angry American gives it a rocket.

Queen Of Spades
It’s not rummy, whist, poker, bridge, Uno or canasta, but once you find out the trick you’ll wish you could run faster.

Rasputin - The Mad Monk
Ra - ra - Rasputin, Russia's greatest love machine. There was a cat who really was gone.

Rawhead Rex
Begorrah! There's a demon in the potato field.

The Reptile
Big snake stalks Cornish village.

Repulsion
French hairdresser ditches the "ooh, la-la"s and goes for the "meep berrr spling ker-ding"s.

Revenge Of Frankenstein
Baron avoids chop and sets up surgery in new town. Local medical council keen on bringing him down.

The Satanic Rites Of Dracula
Dracula arrives in 70s Britain and takes steps to wipe out everyone

Satan's Slave
Did you hear about the dyslexic devil worshipper? He sold his soul to Santa

Saturn 3
Big bad robot takes shine to Farrah. To change its mind they may have to Fawcett.

Scars Of Dracula
Fake bats from Woolies and arses on show, Even by late Hammer standards this is a low.

Schizo
Young ice skater plagued by granite-faced bloke wearing red bobble hat and carrying machete. 

Scream And Scream Again
Mad doctor goes bonkers and starts creating superhuman nutters in the crazy late 60s, man. 

Screamtime
It's a Briddish movie, you can tell by de way dey tawk

Seance On A Wet Afternoon
A kidnap awry! There's no chance this will work, With mentalist medium and husband (a berk).

The Secret Of Seagull Island
Nutcase lures blind girls back to his lair for some reason or other.

See No Evil
Mia Farrow finds lack of eyesight a hinderance when threatened by cowboy boot-wearing nutter.

The Shout
Game of cricket enlivened by tales of shouting and the occasional bolt of lightning.

The Shuttered Room
The old "something in the attic" routine gets a liberal dose of HP (Lovecraft) sauce.

The Sinful Dwarf
They’re down on the luck with no place to be static, ‘til a nasty old flat is found (but she’s less than ecstatic). There’s a big problem here which is somewhat dramatic – a naked sex dungeon above in the attic.

Slayground
American thief pursued by spooky American hitman through the mean streets of Southport.

Son Of Dracula
It’s time for a game of Brit horror stars bingo. Francis, Price, Leigh and Jones, just one more needed… argh, Ringo!

The Sorcerers
Angry young man made angrier by angry old people.

Spectre
Holmes and Watson get a 70s twist in a tale of black magic, demons and turtle necked sweaters.

Split Second
Cop-on-the-edge and rookie sidekick take on Satan in amusing Terminator-on-a-shoestring cum Beverly Hills Cop rip-off.

Straight On Till Morning
Young lady finds own Peter Pan. Can he cut it? Yes, he can.

The Strange World Of Planet X
X marks the spot, where magnetic attraction, is affecting the insects and inciting tramp action.

Straw Dogs
His feisty wife’s history has messed with his bonce. His sense of fair play has been knocked ask-onse. And now he’s defending his neighbourhood nonce.

A Study In Terror
But Holmes, can you tell me who we’re hunting, old buddy? It’s the Ripper, friend Watson – in terror I study!

Take An Easy Ride
Tales of woe on the road. Oh, and mini-skirts. Lots of 'em.

Tales From The Crypt
Nasty people take shortcut straight to hell - literally.

Tales That Witness Madness
Donald Pleasance gives us a tour around his asylum, tree cheers for Joan Collins.

Taste The Blood Of Dracula
Everyone's favourite blood sucking fiend takes revenge on a trio of Edwardian chaps when they refuse to drink his blood. 

10, Rillington Place
Maniac true life shenanigans as Christie gets busy with his home-made anaesthetic.

Terror
From the days when Snickers was Marathon, it's a sentient celluloid slashathon.

Theatre Of Blood
Brush-up your Shakespeare, and chop-up some critics...

Theatre Of Death
Grand Guignol taken to logical extremes by vampiric nut with a knife.

These Are The Damned
Radioactive children kept hidden from swinging 60s Britain.

They Came From Beyond Space
They’re taking over our brains but not changing our faces, their reasons are muddled but they hold all the aces. Our hero’s confused as he drives place-to-places, but will someone ever tell us where exactly “beyond space” is? 

Three Cases Of Murder
Getting some illumination - that’s his game. That bloke with the lighter is now in the frame.

Torture Garden
All aboard... a-one more-a time... catch a duck and win a prize... die horribly... etc.

To The Devil... A Daughter
Nun on the run.

Tower Of Evil
There's been lots o' deaths on an island called Snape, as a sexy survivor recalls for the tape. A boat is sent there with profs on the crew, like a saucier version of Scooby-de-Doo.

Trog
Who was found under the bog? Trog! Who killed lots of people and at least one dog? Trog! Which film is the most terrible slog? Trog! Who thinks an ape-man is a surrogate sprog? Joan Crawford!

The Trollenberg Terror
If you’re thinking down mountainside slopes of skiing, be aware that from alien eyeballs you may end up fleeing.

Twins Of Evil
One girl is all coy, the other’s a tramp. But which is the safe bet, and which is the vamp?

Twisted Nerve
He’s a killer all right, pretends not to be bright, he’ll give Hayley a fright (no, it’s not Endless Night).

The Two Faces Of Doctor Jekyll
This odd love triangle is more of a square - cos there’s two of one person (albeit with more hair).

The Uncanny
Pussies galore - but cat's your lot, I'm afraid. 

Uncle Silas
When orphaned your hope is an uncle who’s kindly. Let’s hope she figures his scheming and stops loving him blindly…

Unearthly Stranger
These alien invaders aren’t the usual a-holes, they look good in a skirt and cook mean casseroles.

Vampira
He’s a lovely old vampire, is our David Niven. But steer clear of the blackface, Dave, that’s a given.

Vampire Circus
Just the thing to cheer up a town ravaged by plague - a dwarf, a chimp, a tiger and a psychopathic revenge-obsessed David Essex look-alike half man half vampire half panther. 

The Vampire Lovers
There’s a vampire about leaving corpses all bloody. What’s more she’s un-averse to doing it in the nuddy.

The Vault Of Horror
Dreamer, you know you are a dreamer, but can you put your hands in your head? Maybe not a hand, but a hammer may work - the thing is, you’re already dead!

Venom
To kidnap this kid, you’d need to be crackers. Good job Ollie’s there (til he’s bit in the knackers).

Village Of The Damned
Everyone fell asleep and when they awoke, all the women were pregnant - some untouched by a bloke.

Virgin Witch
These sisters are off for a break in a v. witchy place. They’ll have to strip off if they want to save face.

Voices
They left their kid by a river in the care of a dog. Then they drove without care through some terrible fog. In the house she hears sounds of an echoey sprog. Even at 90 minutes this film is a slog.

The Weekend Murders
There’s a body in the bunker, that’s ruined their round. Stop staring at each other, the killer must be found!

What Became Of Jack And Jill?
Jack and Jill aren’t over the hill and they don’t want to help those who are. Gran’s got the cash, John’s a bit flash, youth and age clash, is a fake riot going too far?

Whoever Slew Auntie Roo?
For these orphans it is time for a Christmas vacation, and death, and fire, and child mummification.

The Wicker Man
Young Rowan’s gone missing - send for the Sarge! He refuses to listen, into homes he does barge. He’s not keen on the locals for having it large. What the heck’s that? A huge wicker carge?

The Wisdom Of Crocodiles
He is the Law, but his name isn’t Dredd. All the girls that he meets end up drained and quite dead.

Witchcraft
T’was a grave (ha!) mistake to raise this girl’s ire. Voodoo’s her weapon and occasionally, fire.

Witchfinder General
He’s looking for witches, but there’s none (that’s the kicker). So he makes it all up, blames, and then kills, the vicar.

The Witches
If you snitch on these witches, you’re bound to get stitches. Self-inflicted by knife, or sheep-dipped in ditches.

Womaneater
This film is a terrible j-oak you’ll soon twig. Will he let anyone leaf? Ah, who gives a fig?

Written In Blood
Remember the millennium? Remember how we all wished a character from a horror novel would come to life and start murdering everyone, just to liven it up a bit?

X The Unknown
Fade away and radiate, that soldier and his Scottish mate. The mud monster its fate has met, in Dr Beany and his Meccano set.

Xtro
80s, we're living in the 80s, when disgusting extra terrestrial rapes and births were ten-a-penny. How much sense does this tale make? Here’s a clue - hardly any.