“Strange things happen around here. Things move, for no reason at all. Bells ring, and nobody rings them.”

David (Tony Wright) and Jean (Patricia Dainton) Linton are jumping from hotel to hotel before they need to actual pay the bill (Jean: “My god, what a way of living”), as they wait for David’s non-existent writing career to start bringing in the cash. Even from the start, this seems unlikely given his preponderance to spend any cash they do have on booze.

Jean then finds she’s inherited a house from her aunt Grace. She recalls there was some “family history”, but can’t quite remember what.

On arrival at their spacious new home, spooky things are afoot. Doors close in David’s face. Jean hears somebody sighing deeply. Chairs move around when they’re not in the rooms.

The cleaner, Mrs O’Brien (Anita Sharp-Bolster), cheerfully tells them that yes, the place is haunted – by a ghost she has nicknamed “Patrick”.

Jean seems happy with this, David, who (frankly) is a prize dick, less so. He becomes more enamoured with his new home when he is informed it’s worth a cool £6,000 – but is then less than happy when Jean tells him she’s not interested in selling.

David being a man, and thus incapable of using a typewriter, engages the services of local divorcee-and-hoochie-trollop (and to modern eyes, Lady Gaga lookalike) Mrs Stockley (Sandra Dorne) to type up his magnum opus. Which leads to exactly the kind of shenanigans you’d expect between the pair of them.

Luckily the unseen Patrick is clearly on the side of the wronged Jean, and as the cheating couple begin to formulate a plan to rid themselves of Jean and get hold of her money, they find themselves thwarted at every turn by the invisible pest, eventually being outed by the reappearance of an incriminating letter.

Jean then confronts Mrs Stockley and delivers a spectacular smackdown on the homewrecker: “If you want that money so bad why don’t you go out and earn it? You look like the type!”

Which prompts a remarkable amount of hysterics, the tarty-looking mistress clearly deciding from this point that no-one describes her as a trollop (hoochie or no), and then looking to make the removing-Jean-from-the-scenario aspect much more permanent than originally planned.

Things get much darker from this point onwards, with attempting poisonings and pushings-down-lift-shafts once again not going to plan thanks to the interference of Jean’s invisible helper.

But how much help from a poltergeist is too much help? Well, by the end of this somewhat dull supernatural drama, we’ll know – as Patrick’s eventual solution doesn’t appear to do Jean much favours at all. Still, poltergeists, eh? Can’t live with ‘em…

Come for the ghosts, stay for the marvellously British reaction by the emergency services at the eventual outcome. That’s what I say.