“These pieces belonged to the most evil man of all time... Dracula!”

Taste The Blood Of Dracula is an intelligently written, beautifully filmed tale which takes the Dracula idea and expands on it. Even the lurid title makes sense. 

After getting lobbed out of his coach ("What a way to travel, eh?") Roy Kinnear finds Dracula writhing, impaled on a cross, tears of blood pouring from his eyes (which, as I’m sure we all remember, is the way the last film finished). As the body dissolves leaving just a bit of red powder paint, a cloak and some jewellery, old Roy has an idea...

"Dracula... Dracula's blood..."

After the credits a bunch of stiff-upper-lipped Edwardian types make their way out of church. Once home, young Alice (Linda Hayden) is berated by her father for "smiling and flirting" with a young man.

Dad is William Hargood, one of a trio of hypocritical men (Paxton and Secker are the others) who spend their days bossing people about and once a week indulge in "pleasures of the flesh" at an East End Brothel (whilst telling everyone they're doing charity work).

So, to the cries of "'ot potaters..." the threesome make their way into the Limehouse area of London and start the shagging, opium abuse and whatever else passed for fun in those days. However, their (rather odd-looking) debauchery is cut short by Lord Courtley (Ralph Bates), who crashes the party and whips away Madeleine Smith without so much as a by-your-leave.

The owner of the establishment, Felix, tells them: "If I weren't religious I'd say he was possessed... possessed of the devil..."

Intrigued, they go to the mystery man for advice on how to further their experience, and he carts them off to a shop owned by Kinnear, where they are told: "These pieces belonged to the most evil man of all time... Dracula."

"We'll pay the price," says Hargood.

"You'll be repaid a thousand times," Courtley tells them.

"And may the devil take good care of you," adds Kinnear.

The three make their way to an abandoned church, where Courtley drinks Dracula’s reconstituted blood (probably not a good idea) and promptly expires, begging for help from the other three (who've all realised it’s probably not a good idea). “Help” comes in the form of a brutal beating from his former friends, who then leg it, Tucker Jenkins-style.

Of course, that's not the end, nay it's but the beginning, as thanks to the powers of dodgy zooms, dry ice, backwards sand blowing and red contact lenses (never pleasant), Dracula is re-born. "They have destroyed my servant," he deadpans. "They will be destroyed."

The three hurry back to their respective homes, and try to get on with normal life. But it isn't long before Alice gets caught coming back from a party and Hargood (gazing uncomfortably at her ample charms) tells her: "I haven't beaten you... since you were a little girl..."

She runs away, straight into Dracula - is instantly besotted, and before you can say "the first..." she has twatted her father in the head with a spade. "Nasty, that..." says copper Michael Ripper, the next morning.

Of course, Dracula soon gets busy with the other sons and daughters, too. Paxton gets staked by his vampirised daughter Lucy after he refuses to put her out of her misery ("the second..."), and Secker, on being shot by Paxton for suggesting staking her might be a good idea, makes it home and drafts a letter of warning before his pointy-toothed son (Martin Jarvis) finishes him off with a knife ("the third..." the audience cheerfully anticipates).

Alice's beau, Paul, finds the letter and reads it: "Find her, Paul! Find her before it is too late! Find her!" He finds the church, does a spot of redecorating, and when Dracula makes an appearance he realises he's in a church and promptly expires.

Okay, so it’s not a great ending (Dracula resorting to throwing stuff at the goodies from a balcony before realising-oops-he's been in a church for practically the whole film).

But the film as a whole is a neglected gem, which once again tries to do something different with an old story.