“Last one to the Unicorn is a cube!”

These Are The Damned is a chilling film… once it gets going… in a kind of John Wyndham "Midwich Cuckoos" way. In fact, it would make a great triple bill along with Village and Children Of The Damned. The problem is the first bit, which sets the scene through a little bit of gang violence as jolly Ollie Reed and his bunch of hellraisers lay waste to Weymouth.

Unfortunately these "teenage" tearaways are a middle-aged film director's idea of "the kids". Apart from the vicious beating they dole out to Simon the American (who quite frankly deserves it, the dirty old man), everything else they do is pretty tame. 

They're first spotted listening to an awful song which has the lyrics "Black leather, black leather, rock rock rock" - a song so truly dreadful that the film makers decided to repeat it through most of the rest of the film. 

They also do mock army drills on the prom (scary) and shout things like "Last one to the Unicorn is a cube!". Well, I for one would shit my pants if anyone started acting like that in my vicinity, I can tell you. 

Apart from that the film's bizarre storyline, which suddenly stops being a tale of teen angst and dips its toe into much murkier waters, is enough to hold the interest over an hour and a half, even if Simon seems to forgive Joan the teenage temptress rather too easily. 

It's actually an extremely grim affair once the pathetic gang antics are over and done with - evil Ollie's redemption is quite short-lived, and everyone either dies from radiation poisoning or gets shot. 

The final scene, with the trapped children's voices crying "Someone help us - please help us!" is possibly one of the most depressing and thought provoking on this site.