New review: Venom
If you were offered a film which has Nazi art thieves and sexy spider women running around a picturesque German forest, you’d be interested, ja?
Ja, of course you would.
Well, willkommen to spider forest – which unsurprisingly is not only home to said sexy spider woman, but also to a lot of poisonous indestructible spiders. Who’s to blame? Nazis, that’s who. Aren’t they always?
Much to unpick here. Is Venom British? Pretty much, despite its filming location. And since when has a film’s actual location stopped us before?
Is Venom any good? Not really. Its reputation as an almost-lost classic pretty much disappeared overnight when people actually got the chance to see it and realised it is a bit boring and extremely confusing.
Does everything explode at the end? Of course it does. That’s one of the reasons why we feel comfortable classifying it as a British horror film!
Does it offer lots of opportunities to make lazy jokes at its expense? Ja, sehr. And you’d be surprised at how little this reviewer has resorted to his half-remembered O-level German to jolly things along.
